Keys to making your words carry power
All the ideas and traditions designed to silence women have external impacts (being shut down, mocked, humiliated, or subjected to violence), but also internal ones. We feel uncomfortable speaking up in meetings, giving instructions, or figuring out how to sound authoritative without shouting or without being perceived as “masculine.”
I help you harness the power of words.
5 Keys to Making Your Words Carry Power
1. No softeners
- Avoid modifiers that weaken your statements.“I just wanted to say… Maybe what we could do is… Perhaps it would be a good idea…”
- Say it directly and in the present tense: “I want to say… We can do… It is a good idea to…”
- Avoid verbs that dilute your message: ”I think we could learn… I feel that if we do… I hope we can…”
- Use the present tense whenever possible: “We can learn… Let’s do… Together, we can…”
- Diminutives diminish: “I’m a little bit worried… Can I take just a tiny moment? I’ll need it in just a little while…”
2. If you know the answer, don’t ask
Women often ask questions to avoid sounding “too smart.” We also ask to seek approval, because we have been taught to please. Either way, this undermines our power. We need to be assertive. Try to change the wording as in these examples:
- “Do you think that sentence is impactful?” → “That sentence is not impactful.”
- “Are these numbers right?” → “These numbers are wrong.”
- “Do you think it could be ready by Monday?” → “It needs to be ready by Monday.”
Ask questions only when you truly need feedback or have a genuine doubt.
3. Don’t apologize unless it’s necessary
We are trained to apologize for everything. If we make a mistake or hurt someone, apologizing is appropriate. But never apologize for speaking up or disagreeing.
- “Sorry, but I think that…” → “I think that…”
- “Sorry, but I disagree…” → “I disagree.”
- “Excuse me, I’d like to comment…” → “I’d like to comment.”
4. If you’re interrupted, keep going
In general, men interrupt women three times more often than they interrupt other men. We need to make this visible and stop allowing it. Here are three options:
- If there is a moderator, demand that they do their job.
- Raise your hand as a stop signal and say: “I want to finish”.
- Keep speaking firmly. Do not raise your voice unless you decide it’s necessary.
5. Don’t go in circles
- Too much context or too many details lose your audience, especially in campaigns, outreach, or work meetings.
- Be clear about what you want to say and what your main point is. Get there as quickly as possible. If you already have your audience’s full attention, you can then add relevant details or specific data.
- If it’s a point that may generate resistance or debate, offer three reasons and make a clear call to action.
Don’t feel overwhelmed. Breathe, smile and make your power pose. Remember: practice makes the master.
